Original subtitles

You're fucking dead now.

It's been about, what, two, three hours, I'd say.

It's been good.

What the hell am I going to do with this fucking thing?

Well, I really don't want to go to the hospital.

And there's no one else here besides maybe Kate can help me out. Kate!

What do you want?

I need you to help me out.

With what?

I got a pretty big problem.

I did something bad.

Okay. Do I want to know?

I mean, the only reason I'm telling you is because you might be able to help.

That's my problem.

I kind of dipped into...

take Viagra if you don't have a girl over?

I didn't think it would last this long, but it's been like three, three and a

half hours now.

That's cool.

That was not cool!

That's your problem.

Yeah, I know it's my problem, but I was like, maybe she can help me out just a

little bit, and then maybe it'll go away. Because I haven't had any female

stimulation since I took it.

Well, you can wait till mom and dad get home, and then they can take you to the

hospital. I don't want to go to the hospital!

That's embarrassing!

Well, then go walk outside and find someone to help you out.

You want me to just pick up some random stranger and have him help me out with

this? Really?

Let them learn, right?

Let them learn my ass.

Can you just help me out with this, please?

What do you want me to do?

I don't know. Like, use your hand or something.

That's weird.

I mean, I wouldn't ask unless I really... really needed help.

Why can't you use your hand?

I tried already.

Didn't work.

Let me see. I think it's plumbing.

What?

Let me see.

Man,

that sucks.

Yeah. You should be more careful next time. I'm not going to take it anymore.

So, can you help me out?

No. I'm just going to sit here and laugh. You're just going to sit here and

laugh?

Help me out.

What are you supposed to do?

They're going to walk in and I'm going to have to be all embarrassed.

Natalie, you're sitting in here especially.

I'm going to tell them anyway.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm not going to laugh at all.

That's really your only option.

Because none of my friends would ever come over and do you.

That's great.

Are you going to help me out or not?

Well, you're supposed to be like, yeah.

I'm not touching my brother's dick.

What am I supposed to do then?

You do it.

I'm not going to do anything.

I'll instruct you.

No. Yeah. No, it's happening.

No? No.

Help me out. God damn.

All right, so you want me to jerk you off?

Yeah. That's it. Yeah.

Is that too much to ask?

It's weird.

And if I did do it, I'd sit like this.

Can you put a bag over your head or something?

No.

I could put a pillow over my head.

That might work.

Oh my god.

I need help.

Okay, I'll help you. It looks painful.

You're supposed to have a pillow on your head.

Okay, fine.

Put the pillow on my head.

Um, so how long is this gonna take?

As long as it takes, I guess.

I don't know.

I'm really not sure what to do at this point.

Like do you use lube or anything?

Like this is... I don't know.

I guess not.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

They're working?

Kind of.

I'm trying not to pee.

Look, I got places to go, so tell me how to speed this along.

I don't know, maybe we just have to take it up a notch.

You're already pretending I'm somebody else.

You don't have any lube.

Uh -uh. Lube? Nope.

Okay.

You are... that guy in class.

You're Derek.

Shut up. Okay.

Okay?

Is that doing any good?

Derek?

No, thank you.

You should hurry up.

Maybe you could, uh, sit on it?

What? I don't know.

Maybe suck the wood.

You want me to suck the wood?

What do I get out of this?

Well, you're not going to answer this.

That's a weird question.

I'm not answering it.

I'll take that as a yes, so... Might as well enjoy yourself too, right?

Yeah.

I'm just trying to do all the options I can.

And go on notes.

Obviously.

At least taking the top off

Mm -hmm.

What?

Take those off, too.

Oh, you want it all off?

Not if you want to do it without on.

Just like this.

Do you want me to put the pillow back on?

Yes.

Mm -hmm.

I can feel it starting to go down already.

Ah, fuck.

Definitely keep this between us.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, let's get this over with.

Okay.